I imagine you didn’t envision learning leadership tips from your cat who obnoxiously knocks things off the counter and sits on your keyboard during meetings. But animals can teach us a lot about being a better leader.
This fall, we put down my daughter’s beloved pony Jonathon. This post is dedicated to everything we learned from this gem of a pony, and all the animals who have made me a better leader.
Be more Jonathon
Jonathon, my daughter's pony, was a non-descript bay pony with larger than average googly eyes and a weird sideburns situation. He joined our family after retiring from a riding school. Our daughter needed a confidence building pony who she could learn and have fun with, and he needed a home who could manage his medical issues. I don’t believe he ever won a lot of show ribbons or awards. But as we had time to plan ahead for Jonathon's end of life, I shared the news with the owner of the riding school where Jon had retired from and neighbours. Something happened that I haven’t seen before. Carloads of previous riders came to visit him, along with neighbours and friends. They showed up with carrots and treats and left his neck wet with tears. They were women who had taken their first canter on Jonathon, done their first jump with him, and now they were experienced riders and instructors, showing and succeeding confidently. Jonathon did that. He was patient, kind, and turned a blind eye to any and all errors. Never spooking, always steadfast in his job: to keep the precious cargo on his back safe and do the job at hand, then go eat. He contributed to the success of so many young people, including my own daughter, helping them gain confidence in themselves and grow and progress. He could calm anxiousness with one look of his big brown eyes, making every place he went better because of him. I can’t imagine a better servant leader than this sweet boy. For days when I am crotchety and want to act more like a chestnut mare or fractious cat, I now have a sign posted in my office in his memory “Be more Jonathon.”
Coaching question: What patient, pet or animal would you like to channel today?
Animals handle conflict like we do... sort of
When I left clinical practice, I doubted any of my equine sports medicine clinical skills would be applied to my new role in animal health surveillance. I was wrong. The first time I encountered a big conflict, I thought “I don’t know how to manage this!” A mentor asked me to consider other situations I’d navigated that required me to calm down, take the other party’s perspective, and think strategically. I think my non-vet mentor was surprised (and a little concerned) when I said, “Oh my gosh, you’re right! I know how to do this; I deal with anxious horses all the time!” Before you think I headed out with sedation and a set of stocks, don't worry. I just applied the skills I'd had to learn as a vet working with horses several times my size, who were often afraid, or at the very least, not interested in being poked and prodded. These skills in gently working with horses to avoid a major conflict I would never win, they were learned. Could they transfer over? So I tried it. I stopped adding anxiety and energy to the room. I took a deep breath, lowered my shoulders and relaxed my body. Made a plan, and re-approached with better tools and methods, and sometimes a colleague for support. For a while, as I gained skills in conflict management, I imagined the other party as a patient. That defensive person criticizing everything? I imagined that they may be like the scared fear biting dog, hiding under the exam table. I approached less aggressively, found common ground, and finding a solution so we could emerge side by side. No dog treats needed. I delve into techniques like visualization, body language, and novel approaches to empathy when I train groups on conflict management. Maybe you have these skills already too!
Coaching question: What techniques that you use in dealing with stressed out animals or your own pets could you transpose to other conflict situations?
The loudest voice isn’t the real leader
In most animal species who live in social groups, there are multiple up and coming leaders, and one major leader. There are also followers and all group members who contribute. In herds of horses, the young males often have something to prove, running around biting everyone, fighting other males, and generally showing off to show how in charge they are. They are insecure, striving leaders. The real leader of the herd is generally caretaking, ensuring everyone is safe, and is rarely aggressive to his herd or others. He only fights when he needs to. A sharp baring of the teeth or quick maneuver is all it takes to get everyone back in line. He also takes responsibility and "makes up" when he hasn’t done a great job, and gets others to take care of things they can't do or aren't good at. This is true in female and male leaders in many species. Great leaders are the same; they are often in service of the people they serve, and don’t waste energy on fights that are trivial. They only bring out the big reactions when they really need to. I focus on this when I coach leaders and teams- when you connect with yourself as a leader and know yourself well, you can be confident and work for the good of the group.
Coaching question: How can you be more like a herd leader than an insecure striving leader?
I hope you take a different look at all of the animals you come in touch with today. Let me know if you've learned anything from the animals in your life.