3 secret weapon ways to beat overwhelm as a leader

If you're a leader, you've likely faced overwhelm more than once.  It might even have a cyclical nature for you.  How can you minimize that feeling, and get on with what's most important?

Here are 3 exercises that the leaders I coach have found useful, and I hope you do too!

1) Tool 1: My menu

Great for: people who hate rigid structures, or have fluctuating schedules/chaos

If  you certain behaviours help you be less overwhelmed, here's a simple way to ensure you actually do them.  Think of a behaviour that helps you like incorporating more workouts into your day, minimizing time on email, or reducing screen time.  You might envision your ideal way to do this behaviour (the best situation is running at 6am).  But, then your day goes to sideways and you're left skipping your workout time you designated for 6am, or frantically sorting email, or scrolling until midnight.  So how do you make room for these behaviours you really want to achieve them and that you KNOW will help you be less overwhelmed?  

Start with a "menu" instead of 1 single way to make your new habit stick.  List a couple of ways you can fit in your desired behaviour on days when things are running optimally, sub optimally, and when they are a complete dumpster fire.  Let's take our workout example: your menu might list:

• Optimal day: workout at ideal time of day (6am)for 1 hour,
• Sub optimal day: do a 20 min work out at 6am, work on the treadmill, 15 min  power walk at the end of the day,
• Dumpster fire day: take a lap of the building while the kids are at swimming lessons, swap a meeting to a phone meeting and walk while talking, stretch for 5 minutes

Keep that menu closely and visible so you can assess the type of day you're having, choose a different way of getting in those healthy habits, and still get to the right amount of "whelm."

2) Tool 2: Pick 3

Great for: perfectionists, data lovers, managing chaos in the moment

Draw a pizza/pie on a sticky note with 6 slices. Mark down the major areas of your life such as work, community, family, friends, hobbies, health.  I'll let you label them yourself based on your priorities.  On the very best days, as human beings, you'll likely be able to be excellent in 4 of those areas.  On an average day, most leaders will be able to do well at 3 areas max. On a day when everything is going a disaster, it might be realistic to be excellent at only 1-2. 

On the post-it, write at the top: "Optimal day: pick 4.  Sub-optimal: pick 1-2". At the beginning of the day, assess the day ahead.  What are you going to focus on today?  Pick the areas.  

You may also choose to ask yourself the following questions: At the end of the day- what areas of the "pie"was I able to do today?  At the end of a week or month, ask the same question.  Do you feel like you need to make any changes to target different areas of the pie, or reduce specific stressors to have more optimal days?  

3) Tool 3: Where's my waterline?

Great for: planning ahead for overwhelming times, learning the skill of self-reflection, interrupting negative stress behaviours

If you're married to an engineer like I am, you'll know that structures are built to withstand a certain amount of high water level (typically a 100 year storm!) If the water coming at the structure exceeds the 100 year storm level, it falls over. There's also overflow valves, drains, and safety mechanisms built in to modern structures to ensure the structure doesn't get too close to the highest water level. What does this have to do with you?  If you imagine yourself as something that has to withstand the toughest knocks and not fall down (which is for better or worse what we often expect of leaders), smart leaders have a plan to ensure they don't fall over every time something stressful happens.  We want to ensure our "water levels"- aka stress levels, are at a low enough level that we can withstand most storms that come our way.  100% is falling over and unable to cope. 50% is pretty stressed and depleted.  25% is a bit stressful but ok, and 5% is lying on the beach drinking a fun drink, stressing about where to eat dinner. Where's your waterline today if you had to give it a %?

With this exercise, I get leaders to make a list of small micro actions they can do in 10 mins, 20 mins, 30 mins to reduce their stress and overwhelm.  These are your safety release valves to lower your water lines right away.  This could range from staring at a wall in a dark room to a brisk 5 minute walk, to drinking a cup of tea while your phone is off, to stretching at your desk to doing a quick meditation. They have to be quick actions, with minimal equipment, and take minimal time.  Then make a list of bigger/longer ways to reduce your stress.  These might be things like going out with a friend, working out, hiking etc.  They're a bit more involved, but they don't need as much planning or effort as a vacation!

Two ways to use this:

• Look ahead to your day.  If it's packed and likely to leave your waterline/stress levels really high, make sure you plan for a few of those teeny tiny release valve exercises and plan with your team to ensure you do them.  Keep that waterline below 50%!  
• On a day when you notice it's completely gone haywire, STOP and PAUSE for just a moment. Ask yourself: "where's my water line?"  If you're at 50% of that 100 year storm level, it's time to take action to get that water line down with at least 1 of the simple activities you listed. Since those activities are tiny and manageable and don't require lots of organizing, do one right away.  If you're at 75-90%, it's time to get several activities in right away in the day, or a longer stress reducing activity.  

Conclusion

These are just 3 tools I keep in my toolbox for leaders and for myself when I support them as individuals or in teams.  I'm curious to know what you use to calm overwhelm.  

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